Instead of reading, you could also just listen …
Our emotions influence how we experience time!
Time is very flexible in our perception.
When we are in a positive mood and actively engaged, then time flies. Otherwise, we all know the situation when time crawls.
Obviously, enough is that anything, that we consider as negative, takes too long. In another case, positive experiences are over in a blink of the eye.
Children and time
Children struggle to show patience. That is proven. The younger the child is, the shorter is the time you have to cater for any need or any wish.
Words like “wait” or “later” do not exist for younger children! Everything is “now”.
Emotions like curiosity or fear and time …
Time spent on an adventure, is very enjoyable. An adventure might even be uncomfortable. When you have decided you would go there, you will even accept some inconvenience.
Time in a torture chamber is a different story: a second as a victim, in the torture chamber, is highly distressing. Your distress is heightened by your lack of control. You will become more distressed, when you do not know, how long the distress will take.
Emotions influence how we experience time.
My influence on emotions and time as doctor
The quality of the relationship with me as the doctor influences how my patients can tolerate different levels of distress.
When the child feels safe, it can manage to endure an unpleasant situation. They will need the support from me, the healthcare provider and the parents. The child, who has decided to trust me, can handle pain up to a certain degree for some lengths of time.
Our emotions influence the way we experience time! Let’s keep the emotions positive.
What is the magic?
Step one: Invest in the first seconds of the interaction, to become the child’s friend.
Step two: Do not violate the granted trust!
Step three: Limited the duration of the discomfort and allow them to say “stop” or “pause”!
In my clinic it is frequently the case, that I might cause some discomfort, for example, when I need to remove ear wax out of the child’s ears.
When the child has decided to trust me completely, there is even the chance that I might inflict discomfort to some degree, without them losing their trust.
The more trust, the longer a challenge can possibly be endured.
Practical advice for negative emotions and time
Let them know what to expect!
Nobody likes surprises in a dungeon, and as I wrote in another post of this blog: Your examination room is their dungeon!
If you need to do something unpleasant: grant the child some form of control, either about the duration or the intensity of the distress.
I do that by allowing them to pinch me on my knee, while I am cleaning their ears. This is another way, to meet at eye-level!
The more trust, the longer a challenge can possibly be endured.
What if this does not work?
If you cannot arrange the examination or intervention in a way that the child can accept or if the child does not trust you, any intervention would require general anaesthetics.
Pinning a child down for any procedure with multiple adults on top is the wrong way!
Not only will the result of the examination/ or treatment be of poor quality, the traumatic experience will shatter all hope for the future to gain the trust of the child again in a healthcare setting.
In a nutshell:
Emotions influence how we experience time. The more trust we generate, the more discomfort can be tolerated.
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